The Streets Are Filled With IDIOTS!

A man is walking his baby in a pram on a city road while yapping on his cell phone. He suddenly turns around to cross the road and is almost knocked over by a bike which screeches to a halt in the nick of time, just inches from the man and the pram. But instead of being relieved and grateful, he growls “Are you blind?” at the shocked biker. I am sure you would have seen this TV commercial of a leading tyre brand. In the second commercial, a woman is lost in conversation with a friend as her toddler wanders over the road and the third commercial features a motorist whose car zooms past a dazed couple on a bike. In all three commercials, the choice of bike tyres saves the day... and also the lives of the man and his son in the pram, the toddler and the biker couple. The commercial credits the quality of the tyres and its grip and announces its catchphrase, “The streets are filled with idiots”.

I initially thought these commercials were realistic, but smacked of arrogance and were outright rude and disrespectful to the pedestrians. Directly referring to pedestrians as ‘idiots’ in commercials trying to sell a product is a strict ‘no’ and had probably never been done before. I steadfastly held on to that belief for a long time, till it recently dawned on me that actually the motorists and bikers in the commercials were referred to as ‘idiots’ and not the pedestrians!

Not convinced? Let me try to explain. Now it is ‘common knowledge’ that:

1.         Only the timid and weak-hearted cross the road on zebra crossings or after the signal turns red. Also, there are far too less zebra crossings in the city which inconveniences the pedestrians. That’s why most people cross the road whenever and wherever they feel like. The motorists should always bear this in mind.

2.         Almost everywhere, footpaths and sidewalks are exclusively for hawkers and not for walkers. Motorists should therefore realise that people are forced to walk on the roads but they still generously allow motorists to drive on the rest of the road.

3.         If someone walking in the middle of the road is too busy on his mobile to notice vehicles behind or pay attention to the blaring horns, motorists should realise that the phone call is important and unavoidable and should wait for him to finish the call before attempting to drive further. It is only fair because a motorist can make up for lost time much faster than a pedestrian.

4.         Motorists should realise that every person who tries to cross the road in fast moving traffic by signalling or hand-waving to motorists to stop has some very urgent business to attend to. They should therefore immediately oblige and ‘carefully’ bring the vehicle to a halt, irrespective of the speed they are cruising at.

5.         After bringing the traffic to a standstill, if such person takes his/her own sweet time to cross the road, motorists should realise that he/she is deeply occupied in some critical thought process which should not be interrupted. Motorists should therefore wait patiently for the person to cross over, because again, they can make up for lost time much faster than a pedestrian.

6.         A young couple on a bike usually means the guy is out to impress the girl with his prowess of bike riding and his penchant for speed. Now if the bike’s speed goes below 100, what will the girl think of him? Therefore, motorists (and pedestrians too) should be cognisant of this predicament and chart their respective paths accordingly.

Now the motorists and bikers in the tyre commercials were driving blissfully unaware of their above fundamental responsibilities and were therefore rightfully admonished in the commercials as ‘idiots’. If you still do not believe this, let me explain further. On whom does the responsibility of averting road accidents lie? Of course, it lies on the motorists because accidents occur only when a vehicle knocks down a pedestrian. Have you ever heard of a pedestrian knocking down a vehicle?

I rest my case.
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Note: Originally published on Facebook on May 21, 2012