In Conversation with an Accidental Doctor...

Mr. Bhaarat visits Dr. Arvind in his newly opened consulting room at AA Polyclinic.

Dr. Arvind:    Welcome Mr. Bhaarat, I have studied the reports of your complete medical check-up done at JustLok Sabha Diagnostic Centre.

Mr. Bhaarat:  (Nervous) Yes Doctor. Some of the readings have been underlined and are in bold, meaning warning signals.

Dr. Arvind:    You have crossed the warnings signal stage long back! You have corruption of the lungs due environmental neglect and use of banned substances, there is inflation of the liver due to excessive drinking, your heart is at risk thanks to poor infrastructure of arteries, high cholesterol and very high triglycerides due to faulty oil policy, heavy diabetes due to a sugar coated foreign policy, poor immune system caused by terrorism of many viruses…the list goes on! And all these problems have become chronic.

Mr. Bhaarat: (Sweating) Ohh My Doc! You have scared me! But Doctor, some of the ailments you just said are not even mentioned in my reports.

Dr. Arvind:    (Nonchalantly) Maybe. But it is based on information available with me. Why don’t you do a thorough investigation? The truth will come out!

Mr. Bhaarat:  (Confused) But I have just undergone a complete medical check-up. What else do you want me to do?

Dr. Arvind:    Forget that! Unless you take immediate corrective action, all these ailments will soon catch up and you may not be able to live a normal healthy life. Do you want your family to go through that?

Mr. Bhaarat:  (Pleading) Not at all! I am willing to undergo any treatment, strict diet, giving up bad habits, abstinence, etc. whatever you prescribe. Please advise me what to do. I beg of you.

Dr. Arvind:    (Nonchalantly) What can I advise you? I am just an aam doctor.

Mr. Bhaarat:  (Irritated and annoyed) What? You just spelt out all the diseases I am suffering from. So for God’s sake please also advise the line of treatment. I am prepared to get admitted under your care at the AA Polyclinic.

Dr. Arvind:    (Nonchalantly) Frankly I am a very small man. I am not important at all. I am nobody but an aam doctor. Meri koi auqaat nahi hai. YOUR life is important. YOUR health is important. YOU have to help yourself.

Mr. Bhaarat:  (About to explode) But how can I help myself? YOU are the doctor and I am the patient! Ok, at least can you refer me to some other Doctor or Hospital?

Dr. Arvind:    (Emphatically) There are many Hospitals around but you must carefully choose where to get admitted. Take the example of INC Hospital. It is the oldest Hospital in India but it is not what it used to be. The last few decades has seen consistently falling quality standards. Most of their patients have sworn not to return if time comes. Many of their Doctors too have left the Hospital. I wouldn’t advise you to go there. I want you to get the best of treatment and attention and regain your health.

Mr. Bhaarat:  Ok, which are the other options?

Dr. Arvind:    There is this Nerd Front Hospital. It crops up once in five years. It has more Heads of the Departments and less specialist doctors, RMOs, nurses and support staff. Their equipments and facilities aren’t modernised. This hospital has a long track record of doing nothing. I wouldn’t recommend that either. I want you to get the best of treatment and attention and regain your health.

Mr. Bhaarat: (Losing patience) Ok, I won’t go there either. Next?

Dr. Arvind:    Then there is the Better Juvenation Polyclinic. Its present Dean always misguides unsuspecting patients by making tall claims and then fleeces them. I call it the Boastful & Jingoistic Polyclinic! And he is also involved in the deaths of many patients. So it is a strict no for you! All I want for you if the best of treatment and attention to regain your health.

Mr. Bhaarat:  So it means the Better Juvenation Polyclinic and its Dean haven’t successfully treated any patient but keep misguiding and misleading people about their track record?

Dr. Arvind:    Not exactly. But in my half day visit I have personally seen some patients suffering in pain.

Mr. Bhaarat:  Could they be patients who were just admitted and undergoing treatment?

Dr. Arvind:    Maybe, but they were definitely suffering in pain.

Mr. Bhaarat:  But isn’t ‘patients suffering in pain’, a common sight in all hospitals? And surely, the Central Medical Council of India would have definitely exposed them and taken strict action against them for the deaths and for misleading the public?

Dr. Arvind:    They have been trying for the last 12 years, but so far haven’t succeeded in collecting any credible evidence.

Mr. Bhaarat: (Completely lost) So where should I get admitted?

Dr. Arvind:    There are also many small nursing homes, clinics and independent medical practitioners who do not have the expertise, equipment and facilities for the treatment you need. So you can safely forget about them too.

Mr. Bhaarat: (At his wit's end) You have been telling me what not to do. Now can you please tell me what I ought to do? Where do I undergo the treatment?

Dr. Arvind:    (Nonchalantly) I care for you and want you to get the best of treatment and regain your health.

Mr. Bhaarat:  (Tearing out his hair) How can I? You won’t treat me, you have ruled out ALL other hospitals, nursing homes, clinics and independent practitioners. Where the hell should I go? I think I have to make my own decision now.

Mr. Bhaarat leaves the consulting room. Outside and alone, he reflects…

“Chronic illnesses take time to get fully cured and call for a great deal of patience. It is fine if I don’t get the best treatment and attention. But I must have a Doctor who is confident, rather than a diffident one or a greenhorn. I want my Doctor to give me the comfort and confidence that he will take good care of me and that I am safe and sound with him. My body constitution is definitely strong enough to withstand some setbacks during treatment. And if this Doctor does not treat me well, I can always dump him. I am certainly not going to die. But for starters, I need an experienced and energetic driver for my arduous journey of medical treatment instead of a novice or a ‘has been’ doctor or a critic who claims to know the way but who cannot drive the car.”