Cook of the Year!

There was a little girl with good looks
Who had a big collection of recipe books

When she deceived a blind jury to win the Trophy for the ‘Look of the Year’
Her husband challenged her to win the Trophy for the ‘Cook of the Year’

Determined, she tried all the dishes under the sun
And made her hubby eat them at the point of a gun

Poor husband thought he had invited troubles big
Cos his wife was treating him like a guinea pig

But days passed and the wife mastered the culinary skills
And the guinea pig thoughts stopped giving him the chills

And cos all his favourite dishes were cooked by wifey dear
He awarded her with the Trophy for the 'Cook of the Year'!

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This is my first ever poem, composed exactly 11 years ago...on December 31, 2001. It was a humorous take on my wife Preeti's efforts to learn the culinary skills, of which she possessed almost nothing before our wedding in March 2001. Happy to say that she did master those skills much too soon, to everyone's surprise!

Talaash for a disappointing Aamir Khan film ends...

‘Talaash’ was a much awaited film considering the names associated with its making... Aamir Khan, Farhan Akhtar and Zoya Akhtar. All these people are known to give a lot of time and emphasis on stories and scripts and not to compromise on creativity. The films they have made in the last 10 odd years have had logical, credible and ‘off the beaten path’ narratives, crisp dialogues, good production values and intelligent marketing strategies. Their films have had many experiments which succeeded simply because they offered something never before seen in Indian cinema e.g. Taare Zameen Par, 3 Idiots, Rang De Basanti, Rock On, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, etc.

One is therefore disappointed to see the movie like ‘Talaash’ coming out of the Khan and Akhtar stables. A weak storyline is the biggest drawback of the movie. It seems the story writer developed a massive and irreversible writer's block half way through and someone else 'finished' the story. Pun intended! An unconvincing story works if the movie is either entertaining or gripping. Unfortunately, Talaash is neither. The film heightens expectations in the first 125 minutes and then allows them to nosedive in the last 14 minutes or so. What appears to be an extremely promising suspense thriller suddenly takes a sharp turn for the worse and becomes an ordinary, oft-repeated and hackneyed plot based on the supernatural!

The subject of the supernatural has recently made a strong comeback in Bollywood and the Bhatt camp has made quite a few films on it. The lead actors in such movies are secondary as the story and effects are prominent. I am not suggesting that no one else should venture into this genre of films, but one usually associates Aamir Khan and Farhan Akhtar with movies based on sensible, original and logical stories. And that's the biggest reason of the surprise, followed by the extreme disappointment! Except a strong and credible story, 'Talaash' has everything else...good performances by lead actors, superb cinematography, haunting music, good production values and above all, intelligent marketing strategies! The pre-release hype and marketing ensured that the film is a commercial success. Of late, most of the top grossing films have been utter trash, confirming that these days its easier to make a commercially successful film than a good quality and entertaining one!

Die-hard Aamir Khan fans are most likely to overlook a ‘very minor’ glitch like a poor and unconvincing story. They are just happy to see him on screen once in a year or two, and in a role and avatar much different from his last one. Ditto for Kareena fans.

And I agree with the ‘UA’ censor certificate given to the film... It is definitely UA - 'Unlike Aamir'!

WHAT TIME IS A GOOD TIME?

In the last few days, we all have seen, heard and read a lot of debate over whether Sachin should retire now. And Sachin being the most iconic cricketer India has ever produced, there are very extreme views and reactions posted by many against those calling for his retirement.

Trust me, I am as ardent a fan of Sachin as you or any other Indian can be. Sachin is very dear to us and has delighted us for 23 years. But the time has come to state the bitter truth. If we think dispassionately - which most of us are not - Sachin is clearly past his prime. Age is not on his side and his footwork and reflexes have considerably slowed down. It pains to see the greatest batsman repeatedly struggle big time for every run - even against lesser bowlers - and barely managing to survive through his very brief innings. Lets us admit that we are not going to see a repeat of the Sachin of the 1990s and 2000s. May be in one or two innings, but not on a regular basis. See what Ricky Ponting said while announcing his retirement in a press conference...

"Over the last couple of weeks my level of performance hasn't been good enough. My passion and love for the game hasn't changed but at the end of the day the decision was based on my results. In this series so far they (his results) have not been up to the level required of batsmen and players in the Australian team. I'm glad I have got the opportunity to finish on my terms."

If Ponting had not announced his retirement, he could easily have played on for 1-2 more series and probably scored 1-2 centuries. But he decided not to drag his career when he was not performing at his best. He was probably pained by a string of performances below his own very high quality standards. The ease with he scored runs in his prime was now substituted by struggles which he could not accept and decided to call it a day. Now the question is whether Sachin's quality standards are not as high as Ponting's or whether Sachin's optimism is way too higher? Or is it something to do with the materialistic aspects of being a cricket icon?

Ideally Sachin should have retired after the World Cup 2011, at least from ODIs. That way he could have conserved himself for Tests. Neither the selectors nor BCCI can ever broach with Sachin the subject of retirement. Dhoni cannot think of doing what he is rumoured to have done to Laxman.

I feel he should not retire after a string of failures when people would be more sympathetic about his recent failures than being proud of his brilliant career. Any delay in the announcement hoping for a big knock to sign off may prove disastrous to his iconic stature and possibly even be against the team's interest, if it doesn't come off soon. Remember the long and agonizing wait for the 100th century? I feel he should right away announce a particular forthcoming series at the end of which he would retire. That will serve the following objectives:

1. The critics' calls for his retirement will immediately stop;
2. Sachin's last few appearances will ensure full houses; 
3. If he is not able to post big scores in these matches, his exit won't be linked to age catching up, poor form, slowing footwork, fading reflexes, etc.

Former England cricketer Patsy Hendren, who played 51 tests between 1920 and 1935, had famously said that one should retire when he's still good enough to play on. “Why now?” is what people should ask, and not “Why not now?” when you announce your retirement. Indian opener Vijay Merchant followed that dictum and retired from Tests after a last innings effort of 154 against England at Delhi in November 1951, aged 40. I am sure Sachin must be thinking about this dilemma for quite some time and is trying to find out the answers. But often one's judgment gets clouded while taking decision about self. Hope that's not the case with Sachin.